Sunday June 12th I was feeling great. I walked multiple times and worked in the garden all afternoon, weeding and planting flowers. My due date was the next day (June 13th) but I wasn’t focusing on that date specifically knowing the baby would come when it was ready. But, Ben and I were surprised that I wasn’t having any contractions after all that walking and squatting. Well as soon as we went to bed and turned out the lights at 10 pm I started having contractions. I laid in bed till around midnight and was still having contractions so I decided to go downstairs and start timing them. They were never very regular, there would be a couple every 4 minutes then 8 minutes, 6 minutes, 5 minutes etc. I was lying on the couch for most of the time and was very relaxed and calm. I wasn’t sure if this was real labor or false labor so I got up and wandered around the house for a while and got something to eat. I just worked on making sure my whole body was relaxed during contractions, especially my face. I knew I needed to get some sleep while the contractions were manageable so I slept in between them from about 1:45 am to 3:15am. For some reason every contraction I would sing a kid song my daughter likes called “Little Bunny Foo Foo” in my head and it really distracted me. About 4:30 I went back upstairs and told Ben I had been up all night having contractions and we laid around for a bit and timed a few. I needed him not to move or talk during contractions at this point and there still wasn’t a pattern but they were closer together.

All of the emotional signposts were there and pretty obvious but I was so worried that I was still going to have 10 hours of labor that I convinced myself I wasn’t very far along. And Ben had just woke up and didn’t realize how far along I was either. Around 7:30 we called our midwife, my mom (who was going to be at the birth) and Ben’s mom (who was going to get Stella and Jude) and let them know I was in labor and that we would keep them updated. It was crazy because his mom said she was just going to come get the kids at 10:30 and we said no we would just call her cause we might take them to the park. I was acting like I was in early first stage, trying to watch a movie and fold laundry while he got the kids breakfast and got the birth tub and some last minute things done. All of the sudden I just couldn’t handle the contractions with out him near me any longer. I needed him to help me focus and relax. He called his mom back and she came and got the kids a little after 8 am. Looking back we can recognize all the signposts, I was really having to focus, no nonsense in between contraction etc. I told Ben I couldn’t do it and needed an epidural and he said “You are doing it! You have been doing it for hours “ I felt such relief when he said that cause I realized that I was doing everything right and that the contractions were getting stronger because the baby was getting closer. He was amazing, he really took charge and tried to get me to focus on each contraction and not worry about the next one. He did not let me even think about giving up. He tried a lot of different positions ideas and relaxation techniques. The thing that helped was sitting in a warm bath, having Ben rub my hands during contractions, and eating ice chips. The contractions were now a minute to three minutes apart, my back started to hurt, and I could feel a lot of pressure. We knew the baby was descending and figured we were a lot closer than we originally though so we called the midwife and my mom to come over.

Luckily they both live very close because when they got there I was feeling like I wanted to push. My mom was downstairs getting the birth tub filled and the last minute things done. The midwife came and checked on me and listened to the baby’s heartbeat and said it sounded great and that if I wanted to push I could. I had told her that I didn’t want to be checked during labor that I just wanted to birth totally based on feeling and instinct but I did have her check me then just to make sure it was as far along as I felt . She said that the baby’s head was right there and that I was going to be holding it soon. I tried to relax for a couple of more contractions until the urge to push was overwhelming and then I started to push with every one. The contractions felt so different than they did earlier. The urge to push was so intense and there was so much pressure, I could feel that the baby was right there. During one push my water broke and from there on out the contractions were one right after another. The midwife was downstairs getting all of her things ready and she said she could hear the change in my voice and knew the baby was coming very soon. She looked at my mom and said “this baby is coming now” and ran upstairs. I was making a low humming, groaning noise. She checked the baby’s heart beat again and told me if I wanted to move to the bigger birthing tub I had to do it now because I was having that baby very soon. At this point I started to feel a little panicked and was having a hard time keeping my breathing regular and was frazzled due to the commotion and worrying about moving. I didn’t know if I should go downstairs, stay up, or really what to do in general. I was without a doubt in transition. I just remember looking at Ben and seeing that he was calm and feeling more at ease. We decided to move downstairs. I had no modesty left, that’s for sure, our front door was wide open and I was walking downstairs with no cloths on and didn’t care one little bit. The birth tub was wonderful; I could stretch out and move around. The curtains were down and the windows were shut so it was quit, dimly lit and so peaceful. As soon as I got in I got down to the business of having this baby. I found a position I liked, which was on my knees leaning on the side of the tub and just let instinct take over. Ben was right by my side pouring cool water over my back and my mom was there assisting where ever needed, just having them near me was a huge comfort. I could feel the baby coming down, the ring of fire and the head crowning. Before I knew it the baby was born.

The midwife had me move my leg and seconds after the baby was born it was in my arms, instantly nursing in the warm water with Ben right next to us. The baby was so calm and didn’t cry at all. Born into a warm, calm, quiet environment surrounded by peace and loved ones. It was amazing!!! Ben and I were on such an instant baby high, we were so proud that we had the baby naturally and at our home.

After a few minutes Ben really wanted to see if it was a boy or girl and I just kept saying “I just had this baby, naturally in my living room” Finally he got me to look and it was a girl. We were so excited that she had hair and it was dark colored. Stella and Jude had been almost bald with blond hair. We just sat in the tub for a while relaxing and nursing. Ben and I had our much deserved glass of orange juice. Then my mom cut the umbilical cord and we got out and moved to the couch to nurse. After about 30-40 minutes I delivered the placenta. I was feeling great; I couldn’t believe that I had just delivered a baby. After the midwife cleaned up, we did Sage’s newborn exam and she left us to bond with our new sweet little Sage.

The whole experience was so natural and beautiful! Everyone was calm, happy and the positive energy that surrounding all of us was amazing. Everything was on my time, nothing was rushed and we all just sat around the living room marveling at the miracle that had just happened.

My advice to others is to trust the emotional signposts, they are extremely accurate. Don’t worry about having hours of labor left if the signposts are telling you other wise. Practice your relaxation exercises! Even though we only used the very basic ones during actual labor the hours and hours we spent practicing together were key to us working together as a team. Ben knew what I wanted even during the time I was not able to actually vocalize and I know that was due to the time we invested in practice.

The key to my success was Ben’s support before and during the birth. I could not have done it without him by my side. He was so strong, confident, patient and composed. It was the most life altering experience; I am forever a changed person. The process of trusting your self, your body, and your baby and just letting go to such a natural process was liberating. And for Ben and I to experience this together has created a bond, a trust that is so strong. Sage and I thank you and love you Ben! You are the best father and husband anyone could ask for.

Karina’s viewpoint – Jubilee Ruth Anderson was born on June 22, 2010 at 6:05am, six days after her estimated date of delivery. As we were getting ready for church on Father’s Day, I lost my mucous plug and began to see bloody show. We called the birth center for advice and were instructed to take it easy and eat well that day. That night, I began experiencing contractions that were ten minutes apart around 11:30pm. Lisa, the midwife on call, told me to try to sleep through the night. Thankfully, I was actually able to follow her advice because labor stalled.

Throughout the next day (Monday), we ran some errands and went for a couple of walks around our neighborhood. The contractions phased in and out during the day, but by late afternoon were clearly getting closer together and increasing in intensity. Since we were having a home birth, Lisa came over that night at 9pm to check my progress. I felt as though the contractions were fairly intense, but to my disappointment, I was only 2 ¾ cm. dilated, 90% effaced and our baby was at -1 station. As she left she told me to try to sleep through the night and conserve energy, because labor could last for another 24 hrs. I was pretty annoyed to hear this and there was a part of me that was determined to have our baby by morning.

We tried to fall asleep, but the contractions were consistent enough, that sleeping was not going to happen that night. Tim vocalized with me through many of the early contractions, which helped me to remember to open and relax, keeping my voice low. We got in the shower, which really helped a lot with the relaxation. Just after midnight, I felt very nauseous and experienced some chills. I knew this was a sign of transition, but did not let this excite me, since I figured I was probably still at 3cm. Just following this, Tim suggested I get in the aqua doula (tub) and we decided to call for some assistance. At 1:15am we called BirthCare to let them know that my contractions were intensifying, lasting 70-80 seconds and they were about 1.5 – 3 minutes apart. When Story, our midwife, arrived at 1:50am, I was in the tub, moaning through a contraction. Story mentioned that I was starting to make more guttural pushing sounds, so she called Kelly, our birth assistant “Doula” (also our Bradley^™ instructor).

I refused to believe that my body was telling me to push, because I was still convinced that I was only 3 cm dilated and did not want to be disappointed again. At 2:30am I said, “I feel like I have to push,” to which Story replied, “Do what your body is telling you to do.” At this point, I was experiencing pushing contractions that spaced out to 4-6 minutes apart, but was still trying to relax as best I could. Although I was encouraged to drink white grape juice in between contractions, I really preferred to sip water, a10s the white grape juice tasted very sugary.

My waters broke as I stood up to go from the tub to get onto the bed at 3:50am. When Story checked me, I was relieved to find out that I was 8 cm dilated, 100% effaced, and our baby was at 0 station. She suggested that I lay on my left side and try to get some rest in between contractions. I thought this sounded pretty crazy, but to my surprise I was actually able to sleep for 2-5 minutes between contractions! At 4:30am, Story asked if I wanted to go back to the birth tub. As the contractions intensified, Story decided to check my progress in the tub. She explained to me that I still had a lip of cervix present.

My options at this point were 1) Story could manually stretch the lip of cervix over the baby’s head through the next couple of contractions (Kelly explained to me that this would not feel good) or 2) I could continue to push and see if the lip moves on its own through the next few contractions. I chose to wait and see if the cervix would move on its own. This lasted for about 25 minutes, at which time I began to experience intense pubic pain during the contractions. Story explained that the baby’s head was pushing against the lip of cervix every time I pushed and this would eventually make the cervix swell. I could take the pubic pain no longer and decided to get out of the tub and onto the bed in the reclined side position that Kelly taught us, holding one leg up. At 5:25am Story manually reduced the lip of cervix over the baby’s head as I pushed through the next 2 contractions. Immediately our baby made her way down to +2 station. Kelly instructed me on how to push more effectively (holding my breath and giving it all I’ve got). At 5:55am my fore-waters broke and by 6am our baby was crowning.

The sensations I was feeling were none like I have ever felt before. I suddenly began to feel the intense pubic pain that I had felt earlier and then there was the ring of fire. I felt like everything was tearing down there and Story kept telling me to push slowly. It was so difficult to push slowly, because I wanted nothing more than to have her out! At 6:02am I birthed her head, as she came out moving and crying on my perineum. Then, with one or two more pushes, she was out.

They immediately put her on my stomach and I asked “Is it a boy or a girl? With tears of joy, we moved the pulsing umbilical cord out of the way and discovered that we had a beautiful baby girl. After all was said and done, we discovered that labor is not always black and white. Timing is difficult and ends up being estimates rather than exact measurements. Besides the nausea and chills early on, I did not experience a traditional transition stage. The birth quickly went from contractions to the baby coming out.

For the sake of paperwork, it is documented that stage one lasted about fifteen and a half hours and stage two was about 35 minutes long. My perineum had a slight tear on the inside, which Story stitched up afterward. Stage three happened within five minutes after our baby arrived and Tim cut the cord at 6:07am. Jubilee had great apgar scores and was moving and making sounds. Jubilee latched on at 6:25am and we have been breastfeeding ever since. Kelly weighed her at 7 lbs. exactly, and measured her at 19 ¾ inches long. Story and Kelly left our home around 9:30am after making sure that I had eaten some delicious chicken pot pie, gone to the bathroom, and taken a shower. The first day or two of breastfeeding was challenging, but has been very satisfying so far.

Looking back on the whole experience, I would say that having a natural childbirth is empowering, but not in the way that I thought it would be. I was empowered through humility. I was humbled by how my body was made to give birth regardless of what I wanted in my mind. I felt as though I was brought to the end of myself and during the last 30 minutes of my labor could only pray to God to get me through. I knew there was no turning back and I felt my body doing things that I was not consciously in control of.

Through this experience I am also so much more appreciative of the work of midwives, birth assistants and Bradley^™ instructors. Story and Kelly worked really well together. Their encouragement (“Good job Karina.” “Isn’t she doing so well?”) gave me so much strength to keep going. I am also very thankful for Tim who held my hand during the most difficult part and has been so wonderful to take care of me so that I can take care of Jubilee. I wish you all a very graceful and happy natural childbirth.

Dad’s (Tim’s) perspective,

You’ve read the story above. This was seriously the most amazing experience ever. The rising action of labor was paced perfectly and made the climax of the event so powerful. The whole labor seemed so slow and drawn out, but yet it went by in the blink of an eye. Even right before the end, it still seemed impossible for the baby to move down such a passage and out. Time seems to stand still for the entire labor and you live in the moment, each moment bringing new life one step closer. Sounds so poetic, but we did get in a couple of arguments early in labor. I will share the things that I learned in bullet form because men like bullets:

• Birth can seem kind of boring at times. For us, there were hours of sitting/lying in silence with nothing really to do except relax through the contractions (since I was not having contractions, I really had to start thinking back to the Bradley^™ class and book to see what I could be doing)
• Stereotypically, men like to fix things – Be patient, your job will get busier as labor progresses – timing contractions, getting water and snacks, calling the birth center, helping your wife relax.
• My wife needed encouragement and tools to relax, not instructions from her know-it-all husband. I figured this out finally, and just suggested some of the things from the Bradley^™ class (“Would you like to try out the shower? Can I vocalize with you? Do you want me to rub your back? Would you like to get in the tub? – this approach worked a lot better and I got plenty of no’s.
• Don’t be offended by rejection – if she says no to your offer, don’t sulk
• Your wife does not have to tell you when a contraction is starting, just listen and watch in order to record the time. It took me some time to figure out that if my wife is upstairs and I am downstairs getting water, she cannot yell down the stairs to tell me a contraction is starting.
• Your wife needs your support – I have never seen my wife want my support more intensely than during the pushing stage. What an honor!

Not knowing what to expect from pregnancy and labor outside of 6th grade sex education class and ridiculous or terrifying movie scenes, we thought it would be a good idea to proactively educate ourselves. Our amazing midwife suggested we look into The Bradley Method^®, and after several weeks of forgetfulness we found our also amazing Bradley^™ instructor Jan. Without knowing it at the time, this was one of the best decisions we made during the entire pregnancy. We did not do every exercise all the time or eat every gram of protein each day, but we did follow instructions from The Bradley Method^® to the best of our efforts and we feel it really paid off. We also found attending all the twelve weekly classes greatly reassuring, which we never missed. Just knowing that other couples were learning with us and watching videos that showed labor in a positive light was great. Eric and I referred to those videos as exposure therapy – by the sixth video we moved from a feeling of unease to a feeling that we could have our own positive birth experience, which we turn to now.

My January 7th due date quickly came and passed with no signs of labor. By the 9th Eric and I were getting anxious, but lessons we learned from Bradley^™ and the support of each other kept us sane. We also kept busy. Eric and I started to walk a lot, I visualized the baby moving down, we talked to the baby, ate spicy foods, and did every ridiculous thing under the sun to get that baby here. By the 11th we went out to buy a pineapple because a friend of ours swore that eating pineapple would induce labor. After running errands all day I decided to try some pineapple and literally 15 minutes later (9pm) my water broke! I did not expect my water to break before contractions started. I called my hospital and spoke with the triage nurse who said, “Call back in a couple hours and if by then your contractions haven’t started we’ll have you come in and start you up on some medication.” I knew she was talking about the dreaded Pitocin. I replied saying, “Well, I was hoping not to have any medical intervention.” She sighed and said, “Well honey, when you come in we can give you 30 minutes to walk around but if nothing happens, we’ll have to intervene.” THIRTY MINUTES?!?! Without studying from The Bradley Method^® in this situation, we may have dangerously sped off to the hospital in movie style panic. Instead, I called our fabulous doula, and she assessed the situation over the phone, told me to take a shower, and try to relax until my contractions started.

My contractions started a mere 30 minutes after my water broke, to our relief and excitement. They were irregular for the first couple hours, about 7-10 minutes apart. Some were stronger and longer and some were very short and mild. At about 11:30 PM the contractions were pretty strong. It was hard for me to tell when one started and when it ended, they felt like they were one on top of the other. I spent the next 2 hours laboring at home. My original goal was to spend as much time at home as possible. Eric, my husband/coach, noticed that my contractions had become a steady 2-3 minutes apart. He pleaded with me to go to the hospital. I refused at first but when he said, “Ann, I DO NOT want an unplanned home birth, do you?” I quickly gathered my things and we were out the door. I called the hospital and my doula was on the way. We arrived at the hospital just before 2:00 AM and I was examined. My heart sank when told I was only at 3-4 cm, but Eric just kept reminding me that the number did not mean anything. I tried to believe him but I thought it meant for a much longer labor and the way my contractions were feeling, I started to doubt myself.

I moved into a birthing room right after being examined and began to focus and get into the zone. With my husband/coach and doula, we labored for an exhausting 3 hours. I really tried to focus on my breathing. I noticed that when I left myself screech and take short shallow breaths, the contractions felt much more intense. When I listened to my doula and Eric and took long deep breaths, I was able to stay on top of the contraction and breathe through them. Also, did I mention I was having back labor? My poor doula spent most of this time massaging my back while my husband coached me through some using relaxation techniques from The Bradley Method^®. During labor I vividly remember asking Eric, “Where are my breaks?” since it felt like my contractions never actually ended. This was no walk in the park; it was the most intense thing I’ve ever faced. The best technique I used was the ability to move around freely. I rocked, swayed, walked, and leaned just about the entire time. And just like I was told it would happen in class, I hit a wall higher than any wall I had ever encountered before. Eric said I flashed him a look of shear terror. The nurse immediately picked up on this and asked if I wanted to be re-examined. When she did and told me I was 9 cm I almost jumped for joy. I was revitalized and was able to refocus and handle each contraction one at a time. About 45 minutes later, 5:45 AM, I started to feel the strong urge to push. After only 30 minutes of pushing our little baby girl was out and placed on my chest. She was perfect and able to latch right away!

People keep asking how the pain was. All I can say is yes, it was intense but at the same time, something about it felt so natural. Eric and I still recall the birthing video from The Bradley Method^® with the women quietly and calmly delivering her child. My own labor did not seem quite so easy. But, with the help of my husband/coach, my doula, and all The Bradley Method^® tools, I was able to settle my fears and approach my birth with confidence. I was fortunate to be able to use what I was taught in labor and delivery and walk away feeling so empowered.

The night before I went into labor, I had contractions all through the night — stronger and of a different quality than Braxton-Hicks. They tapered off around 6 am, but at the same time, I started having bloody show. I called our Midwife who said it might still be a few days, but the end was certainly close. She advised getting as much rest as I could and eating/hydrating well. I tried to go about my day as usual, wondering all the while if this would be “the day.” It was November 9, two days before our due date.

I cleaned the kitchen, scrubbed the floor (yes, on my hands and knees, trying to keep baby in a good position, just like we learned in Bradley Method^™ class!), and went for a walk… I had an intuition that I’d be in labor that night, so I rested a good bit too. Around 6 pm, contractions started again — sporadic at first, but consistent enough by 10 pm that I called and spoke with another Midwife. She suggested that I try and rest. I went to bed at 11 and slept on and off between contractions until midnight.

At that point, the contractions had strengthened significantly, and I couldn’t get on top of them if they started while I was sleeping. I gave up trying to sleep and started laboring in the nursery, experimenting with the relaxation techniques and labor positions we learned in our Bradley Method^™ class. I notified my good friend whom we asked to come to our birth. She is an RN with some midwifery training; more importantly, she knows me better than most and has a calming, empowering presence. She had ended her hospital shift at midnight and was now speeding to Arlington from her home two and half hours north in Pennsylvania.

By 1:30 am, contractions were three minutes apart and strengthening quickly. I had also started throwing up, which continued until I started pushing. This was confusing, because I associated throwing up with transition and I knew I wasn’t there yet. At 2 am, I woke Aaron, my husband. Knowing it would be a long night, I wanted him to get as much sleep as possible, but I needed his support by that point. We called the Midwife and decided to move to the birth center around 4 am.

My RN friend arrived around 3 am, and with help from Aaron and her, I was able to labor fairly comfortably until we left for the birth center. In fact, I was so content that a home birth started to sound very appealing. Aaron was getting nervous as my contractions continued to intensify and I stayed firmly put in the glider-rocker in the nursery. I finally agreed to leave for the birth center, and we arrived at 4:30 am. I was fully effaced and 5-6 cm dilated when we arrived, and progressed to 7 cm dilated during my internal exam. I was very grateful to be so far along. With fantastic support from Aaron, my RN friend, my Midwife and Birth Assistant, I labored in many different positions for the next 3 1/2 hours. My contractions were strong and 2minutes apart the entire time. After a couple of hours, I really wanted to push but it felt like the baby was still a little bit too high…and nothing seemed to be moving him down. I kept saying “move down baby, move down!”

Around this time, I began wondering if I could do it… The contractions were fierce and fast, and I was exhausted. In my lowest moments, I would ask Aaron to pray (later he told me it was more of a command than a request…I didn’t have much breath to spare!). Each time, as he prayed, I sensed renewed strength, endurance and peace. I’m confident I could not have made it through without Aaron’s strong support and God’s grace.

If we could redo the exercise from our birth class where we ranked our priorities for labor, I would definitely put “freedom of movement” at the top. My turning point was around 8 am. I was on hands and knees in bed with a birth ball, and completely frustrated that nothing I tried was pushing us over the edge. Very abruptly, I stood up and insisted I needed to walk. I marched around the room a few times – I think I was trying to “shake” the baby down — and climbed back on the bed when the next contraction came. With a dramatic splash, my water broke, the baby dropped into position and it was time to push

It was 1 1/2 hours later, that the Midwife laid a very purple baby on my stomach. After a few minutes, Aaron peeked under the receiving blanket and announced that it was a boy. Josiah weighed in at 8 lbs 11 oz and measured 21.5 inches long.

I didn’t expect birth to be as intense as it was, but I felt well-prepared, thanks to Kelly our Bradley Method^™ teacher. I will never forget the euphoria and huge sense of accomplishment I felt afterward. I was overwhelmed with joy, relief, thankfulness for the amazing birth team that cheered me on each step of the way, and gratitude to God for this precious gift.

We are adjusting well to being a family of three and we’re totally smitten with Josiah. He’s a mellow little guy and it’s amazing to watch him grow stronger and more observant each day. Sorry to be so long-winded. If you’ve made it this far, thanks for listening to our story. My fellow Bradley Method^™ classmates are a part of this story because we all learned together. We enjoyed sharing our Wednesday evenings together with them.

Alyssa, Aaron & Josiah
Kelly Valceanu, AAHCC – Virginia